Me and The Boys - The Babysitting Nurse

Excerpts from the Book "Me and the Boys," that I never did write. Lets call this excerpt "The Babysitting Nurse."

I had just become a new single dad having custody of three boys aged 1, 5 and 6.

At the time, 1988, I was building a successful career in information technology with my second job as systems manager at the Kingston Regional Cancer Centre. Having to raise three boys on my own was going to be a challenge.

My parents were a great help watching the children when they could, but I had to get a babysitter. The job would be seeing the two older boys off to school and watching the youngest one. This would be done during the day while I was at work.

I took an advertisement out stating the position and its responsibilities, as well as the fact I preferred someone who would babysit in my house. It was a six bedroom house in Yarker with a good yard.

There was a number of respondents but one really stood out.

She was a nurse that was working part time. She was getting married soon and wanted to experience watching children. Her references checked out so I hired her.

Things were working out great. She would arrive early, make the boys breakfast, look after the youngest and walk the older two to the bus stop, making sure they got o , and would be there when they were dropped off after school. When I got home she would even have supper ready for when I got home. I couldn't ask for anything more.

One day when I got home she talked to me about a concern she had. The two older boys had climbed up on top of the garage and they would laugh at her and would not come down when she told them to. She was concerned they would fall off and break something. I explained to her boys will be boys, but I would talk to them.

I came home on a Wednesday and she told me that she could not do it anymore. It wasn't what she thought it would be and that she was giving me two weeks notice. I told her that I understood and was sorry to see her go.

I was in my office at work the following Friday. I got a page to come to the front reception desk. When I got there i saw something I will never forget.

There at the front reception was the babysitter holding the youngest, with the two older boys standing by her with devilish grins The babysitters hair was messy and tasselled and the youngest was pulling on it.

When I approached she said "I can't do it, " and handed me the youngest boy and immediately left. For some reason it was all I could do to not break out laughing. I took the rest of the day off and took the boys home.

My search for a babysitter was on again.

I often wonder if she ever got married? If she ever had children? I hope she did because she was a wonderful person and probably would have made a wonderful mother to her children.

I did not mention her name to protect her identity. Okay... I didn't mention her name because I don't remember it. But, I will always will remember her and wish her well.

Happy Mothers Day

So nice to see so many wonderful messages on Mothers Day. All the thoughts,  wishes, prayers , phone calls, to all the wonderful Moms here and who have passed.

I would like to post a special message about one type of Mom... Step Moms... Often critisized and vilified... even by Disney. This may warranted in some cases, but not in this one.

In 1998 Lorraine made the decision to commit to a relationship with a man who was a single father who had full custody of three boys aged 17, 15, and 12 and joint custody of one boy aged 7. Having two children of her own, it was a madhouse of 2 adults and six children. Taking on the responsibility of 4 boys, and quite frankly one single father,  she cared for, nurtured, and at times disciplined this new extended family. Through the tears, arguments,  and laughter she made a house a home.

Although they may never realize or appreciate it, she provided the boys with a stable home, meals, support,  and so many things that they should be thankful for. Taking them places they needed to be, caring for them when they were sick, and just being there when I wasn't. 

The boys never saw her tears of frustration or hurt that she had caused by things they said or did being boys. But i did. Despite it all though, she persevered and continues to be there today after all that time.

These boys are all grown up now with strong relationships and good jobs and are good men largely in part to Lorraine being in their life.

She continued to be a rock through my cancer and continues to be a caring mother and grandmother for all our children and grandchildren,  whether step or not, as well as makes sure I am the same.

At the time of writing this none of my boys have called Lorraine to wish her a Happy Mothers Day, and that's okay, they have their maternal moms that they stay in touch with, which they should.  Being male though, they may not yet realize the importance their step mom played in their lives, and mine. As they get older, I hope they will.

So, on behalf of my boys, Happy Mothers Day Lorraine, and thank you for what you do, have done, and will do. Especially the Disney charades...

I love you...